Oh for the love of Raptor Jesus... (or "Yet another non-fandom post")

[emerald_skies]

Internets, let me tell you something. Many times, I fail hardcore at being a responsible adult in some way, shape, or form. We all do, it happens to the best of us really (Google Hyperbole and a Half if you don't believe me). Because of this common human condition and my own personal whacked out brain chemistry, many simple tasks often become impossible for me very quickly.

Studying for tests is one of those things.



Me: [thinking as I study] Dum de dum de dooo....blah blah actin myosin blah...skeletal muscle structure is riveting...

Brain: Caffeeeeeeiiiiinnnnneeeee

Me: Shut up, brain, you're not done cramming yet.

Brain: But I need caffeeeeeiiinnnneeeee.

Me: No. Studying trumps chemical dependencies [I know, I'm as surprised as y'all are]

Brain: GIVE ME CAFFEINE OR I'LL FRY YOUR ATTENTION SPAN FOR GOOD GOD DAMN IT.

Me: OKAY FINE I'LL TAKE A COKE BREAK GODDAMN *toddles off to the fridge to grab some brain-fueling nectar of the gods Coke Zero*

But, before I manage to lay hands on the necessary caffeine...

Stomach: FEED ME, DUMBASS.

Me: Well, since I'm up...*raids freezer*


While I wait for the microwave to finish cooking my snack, it occurs to me that something on the Discovery Health channel might help keep me focused (it's physiology and stuff, right?)

This is a mistake. I always find something more interesting and assume that I can multi-task with that as background noise.


That '70s Show: I'M SO HILARIOUS LOL

Me: Hee *nom nom nom* Mmm...chicken nuggets and Danny Masterson. Life is good.

Brain: Forgetting something?

Me: STUDYING!

Brain: Wrong.

Me: ...sugar?

Brain: Wrong again. How are you still in college?

Me: ...what do my crazy pills have to do with this? I took those already.

Brain:

Me: WAIT. Caffeine?

Brain: DINGDINGDING. Dumbass

Me: What was that?

Brain: NOTHING. FETCH ME CAFFEINE, KNAVE.


So, once I settle back down on the couch, caffeine in hand and munchies close by, and morale-boosting background noise going, you'd think I'd be ready to hit the books again.

You'd be wrong.


Spider Email/Internet sense: Something of vital importance is happening! CHECK YOUR EMAIL NOW OMG

Me: [typitytypitytype]....I wasn't aware that a sale at The Body Shop website was of vital importance.

Email sense: I totally said something was probably happening...*shifty, non-existant eyes*

Me: Riiiiiigggghhhtttt...Imma go back to studying now. [Thinking] Dum de dum de dooo.....isokinetic contractions blah blah...

Cell phone: BEEP BEEP BEEP

Me:
(subtitles: WHAT IS IT NOW?!?!)

Cell phone: ...Charge me?

Me: Oi...*plugs in*



A few more minutes of relatively peaceful studying ensue and then...

Livejournal: Post to meeeeeeee... This would be a great story and you know itttttt...

Me:



And that's how my last four hours have been going (and how making myself perform important tasks frequently goes for me). I know, I know, it's riveting, as is the fact that I'm about an inch away from doing this:



Save me.

---

"Try to relax and enjoy the crisis..." -- Ashleigh Brilliant

---

Cheers.

Comments

[lady-lurker.livejournal.com]

I'm impressed with this time wasting ability of yours. But then, I'm pretty impressed (mortified) with my own time wasting.

My last 4 hours:
Quick snack.
Browse net for something amusing. Or fic.
Dinner.
Procrastinate on net more.

There's tests coming. Soon. I'm screwed.

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

Well, for some idea of scale, this cycle has repeated itself (with a couple of variations) a few times over the last several hours. But yes, A.D.D. just means you're terrifyingly efficient at wasting time -- the scary thing is, I'm actually technically medicated for this and this still happens.

There's tests coming. Soon. I'm screwed.

My test is tomorrow morning. Believe me when I say I feel your pain.

[pau494.livejournal.com]

STORY OF MY LIFE. *facepalm*

I had a midterm about five hours ago. Six hours ago? I was checking my emails and LJ.

Good luck tomorrow!

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

SOMEONE ELSE WHO FEELS MY PAIN *hugs* Thanks for the kind wishes, I'm going to need all the luck I can get -_-

Here's hoping your midterm went well. Out of curiosity, what was it over?

[jean-iris.livejournal.com]

Lol. That's exactly what I do every time I have to study xD Goodluck with your test!

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

They key part of this whole vicious cycle is that it's not entirely voluntary in my case. I want to study (well, I don't want to, but I recognize the need to), but I'm so scatterbrained that I constantly get sidetracked and then an hour suddenly goes by with nothing done. In spite of this, by some crazy miracle, I still have yet to flunk out of college.

Thanks for the kind wishes though <3

[jean-iris.livejournal.com]

I have that sometimes, so I understand your pain.

ALSO. I tried to catch you on skype to tell you this, but you're offline: I saw a perfect Stark doppelganger at my university today. The same haircut, the same eyes, the same mouth (!), nose slightly different but pretty similar, even the same fuckin' facial expressions (especially in the eyebrows and mouth area). The guy must think I'm insane, because I kept staring at him for half an hour, but I REALLY couldn't help myself *____*

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

LOL, I was offline because I was in the middle of a hellaciously difficult test. Honestly, I would've preferred to hear about the Stark doppelganger than to B.S. my way through the intricacies of the skeletal muscle system (in nauseating detail) x_x

[jean-iris.livejournal.com]

I can easily believe that ;)

Right, the time difference.

Dude, srsly. I think this was Stark's real twin brother xD

[emerald-skies.livejournal.com]

Real twin? As opposed to the impostor who looks nothing like Stark but claims to be related anyway? Oooohhhh...*smiles dreamily, stares off into middle distance*

[jean-iris.livejournal.com]

This is the only theory that makes sense ;)

[southoffebruary.livejournal.com]

This is my day-to-day living whenever I have something important to do. LOL.